


Insecure?

by RainbowLookingGlass



Series: On the Borderline [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Borderline Personality Disorder, Borderline!Sirius, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-15 03:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5769790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowLookingGlass/pseuds/RainbowLookingGlass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius Black is one of the most arrogant people on this planet. Unless, of course, the door is closed to the world save a few of the world's most loving friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insecure?

**Author's Note:**

> So after some positive responses, I decided to go ahead and make this a series! It'll be a bunch of glimpses into Sirius's life with the disorder. It won't be in order, but I hope you all enjoy anyhow! If you wanna talk to me, I'm on tumblr as rainbow-looking-glass or queerly-sirius, feel free to drop me an as or message :)

“Hey mate,” Sirius muttered, nudging James. He was leaning carelessly against the wall, tie undone and slung around his neck, the first button of his robes undone. They had just finished Charms class a few minutes earlier, and since Transfiguration was their next class and conveniently just down the hall, the two weren’t in any hurry to get a move on. Remus was still in the class room with Peter, the two asking the professor a question about the hovering charm they had performed that day. “Wanna see what I learned the other day?” Without waiting for a reply, he whipped his want out of his robes with a sly grin, waving it and muttering an incantation. Immediately a rush of tiny fireworks flew from the end of it, loud pops issuing as the multicolored bursts erupted, one after the other. James doubled over in laughter when the students bustling about the halls on their way to their next class scattered and jumped, shrieking in surprise and looking around for the source. Sirius smirked arrogantly, his fellow students glaring, or laughing with him, all looking at him and what he was doing and he basked in the attention he was getting.

“Mister Black!” A sharp voice snapped down the hall. Kids skittered out of the way, getting out of the way of a very stern-looking Professor McGonagall. Sirius hastily stowed his wand back in his robes before giving her a winning smile.

“Professor!” he greeted her, standing up straighter. “How lovely to see you! How is your day going? I’m looking forward to today’s lesson, myself,” he chattered, having no effect on her demeanor.

“Spell casting is not permitted in the corridors, as you seem to have forgotten,” she stated, ignoring his attempts at niceties. “Detention tomorrow, Black. Directly after supper in my classroom. Come, now, it’s time for class,” she turned and briskly continued down the hallway, not even looking back at him. Sirius deflated a bit as James clapped him on the back and Remus and Peter finally emerged from the Charms classroom.

“Bad luck getting caught, mate,” James said in a cheerful tone. “I have detention tomorrow with her at that time too, now I don’t have to be alone! That was a cool bit of magic, you’ll have to teach me that one!” Sirius perked up a bit at the encouragement of his best friend. By the time they got to Transfiguration, Sirius was laughing and joking along with the others, the incident seemingly forgotten.

~0o0~

Remus was always the best of the four at reading emotion. No stranger to pain himself, and constantly on the alert to make sure nobody could possibly suspect anything about his affliction, he was always the first to notice if someone was acting off. And Sirius was most definitely acting off.

He was sitting on his bed with a book in his lap, but he didn’t seem to be reading. His eyes weren’t moving and he never turned a page. One hand was propping up his head while the other twirled his shoulder length, wavy hair. He was chewing a bit on his lower lip and his eyes had a bit of a troubled look to them.

“You okay, Padfoot?” Remus called to him gently. Sirius startled and looked over at him, trying to smile gently but it never reached his eyes.

“Oh, yeah, just interesting book, you know? I’m good,” he claimed, but his tone was off. He was trying too hard to be casual, and continued looking at Remus after he had finished talking. Remus knew how good a liar Sirius was and knew he probably wasn’t trying to lie at all, so he decided to press on instead of leaving it at that.

“Come on, something’s up. What is it, you can tell us,” Remus told him, giving him the small half smile he knew made Sirius melt. Sure enough it did, and he shrugged.

“Just, earlier. With the firework trick, you know? Maybe I shouldn’t have done it…” he muttered, not making eye contact. This caught the attention of James, who looked up from his Potions essay.

“What are you going on about? That was brilliant!” he exclaimed, chuckling at the memory. Sirius just shrugged again.

“McGonagall didn’t think so, did she? And the other people, I don’t know, they all looked kinda scared. What if they didn’t realize it was a joke?” Sirius pressed on, not convinced.

“Well, I thought it was great, watched it out the window,” Peter piped up, a tiny bit hesitant. “It’s not like we don’t do stuff like that often enough, everyone knows we’re jokers. I don’t know who would take it personally.”

“They don’t have to take it personally, they could hate me just for doing it,” Sirius snapped, beginning to look annoyed. Didn’t any of his friends understand his predicament? “And McGonagall, did you see the look on her face? She glared at me all through the lesson. She certainly hates me now, I know it.” He slumped, ducking his head miserably. This statement threw Remus for a loop.

“Hate you?” He asked quietly, cocking his head to the side. “Nobody hates you, Pads. Sirius looked up at him fleetingly.

“Yeah, seriously, where’d you get that idea from?” James chimed it. “Best looking bloke in school and near the top of the class to boot. Besides, no matter who hates you, you got us and we sure as hell don’t!”

“C’mere,” Remus told him, opening his arms. Sirius scrambled out of his own bed and into Remus’s arms. Remus held him, rocking gently. “Whether they hate you or not, and they definitely don’t, you have us. We love you, always will. Okay? Everything’s alright. Everyone will have forgotten tomorrow and all will be forgiven by McGonagall after detention tomorrow. Don’t worry so much,” he murmured, stroking the smaller boy’s hair gently. Sirius melted into him, leaning against his shoulder and heaving a deep sigh.

“Yeah, alright, I’ll try,” he mumbled, the words barely audible. Remus leaned back, laying down and allowing Sirius to cuddle him. With the warmth and comfort, Sirius snuggled closer to him and within minutes his breathing evened out, indicating that he had fallen asleep. James watched the scene, a bit amused.

“Crisis averted?” he whispered, not wanting to wake his best friend. Remus just nodded, smiling gently.

“Thank goodness,” chimed in Pete. I thought we were going to have another fit on our hands. Remember two weeks ago when Evans called him a toe rag? I don’t even know where she got that one…”

“Let’s just be grateful,” James cut in. “that Moony is here to save the day and that Wormy and I didn’t have to resort to physically restraining him again. Honestly, I wish I knew what was up with him. For such an arrogant twat, he can be really insecure.” Remus carefully shrugged using one shoulder.

“He’ll grow out of it,” he whispered back. “He wasn’t always like this. I’m sure it’s a phase, we’ll have our old Sirius back someday. We have to.”


End file.
